Lookin’ Down My Nose At All Of You!

Headed to the island.

Ahhh….what a vacation. I’ve finally returned from a nice vacation on Martha’s Vineyard in the small township of Oak Bluffs. I was invited months ago by my roommate and decided I really couldn’t pass at the chance. I mean, what guy wouldn’t want to stay in a house with six women? And one bathroom… Thank God for alcohol!

We headed north Wednesday evening towards RI for the night. The drive wasn’t too bad as I was able to see NYC and such for the first time, listen to “Washington Washington” on the George Washington bridge, and sniff out the big issue to even traveling through NJ. We finally arrived around 1:30AM. After crashing on the couch for a few hours we picked up two stragglers and headed towards MA to catch a ferry to the Vineyard.

The seats up top were nice and breezy!

After a 45min ride across the choppy waters we finally arrived at Oak Bluffs. We ended up in this nice little house that’s both across the street from a small market and two doors down from a BBQ joint…yeah…it was calling my name… But first things first! Champagne toast with all of my new friends, then wine, then more wine, and finally a chaser of wine. That evening we headed out to the Offshore Ale Co. for dinner and drinks. I’m definitely glad we were vacationing off-season because this place isn’t huge and I could just see waiting 2 hours or better any other time of the summer.

I love burgers...

The food? Excellent. I had my first ACTUAL New England Clam Chowder and it was outstanding. I also grabbed a burger here since it was voted best of the island for 3-4 years running. Although it’s no Ray’s, it’s pretty damn good. The fries are excellent as well, you know the kind with the little bits of batter and such. Mmm…Delicious. Of course, I also had both the Offshore Ale Amber Ale & their Stout, both of which were tasty. The Stout was a bit strange though as it’s 10% ABV and fairly sweet.  After that we started a weekend love-story with the Lampost and had a few drinks on a dead night. Finally, feeling the lack of sleep hitting hard, I headed back to the house and crashed out. The night was…eventful enough for me at the time.

Christian made it all the way through Atlas Shrugged waiting on the bathroom.

Friday started off with a great breakfast cooked by several of the girls, and it was delicious! Next up? Lunch. Obviously. We made the walk down to the shore after a bit of a break and to the rooftop patio of Nancy’s. An overpriced burger and beer later we were really on our way, off to the bus stop to check out some other part of the island. Of course, this was never really straight because I was in a group with six women and one other guy. Needless to say, Christian and I decided we’d go it alone and grab mopeds for the day…except the price of two mopeds is the same as a convertible…hrmm…So we cruised around the island in style the rest of the day.

There are some gorgeous views on the island.

That evening I was the man in charge and took my place at the grill. I grilled up some Conecuh Sausage (I had to introduce these yanks to some REAL food) while the women took care of the mac & cheese and corn. After some grub we headed back to the Lampost for drinks, dancing, and debauchery. A good time was had by most, and eventually I again decided the night was ripe for a bit of sleep.

Now, Saturday. Ahhh… Saturday… God how I love Saturdays in the fall. Why? FOOTBAW!!! But, hold up now, I’m in the middle of nowhere and my team is playing only on ESPN Gameplan…crap. Never fear though, i was out of the house quick and in town visiting every single restaurant with a bar and TV that was open. Where did this lead me? Lampost. Thank God for the Lampost! After several misses, I hit it big here and

The Crew

had the game on just in time to see Alabama score their first TD. Beer in hand, happiness abound, I invited all of the roommates down for Alabama Slammers on the house. After 6 beers (Offshore Ale’s IPA) and an Alabama Slammer later, I was off with a smile on my face (we kicked ass) and off with Hawkes to another bar for food and (as added entertainment) harassment of a Tennessee fan bartender. It was a tasty little meal, a decent beer (Green Monsta), but harassing a UT fan always wins my favor.

After a bit of a nap, it was time for food and the last night on the town. I headed next door to grab some of the BBQ at Smoke’n Bones. After ordering my overpriced fare to go I decided to read up on the proprietor.

I roomed with insane people.

It seems the Pit Boss is actually from Florida, so there was some hope that maybe these ribs wouldn’t be terrible. I grabbed the Memphis-style ribs and fries. The ribs were surprisingly good. Better than DC has to offer. There was a lot of smoke to the meat, it was seasoned ok, and the sauce provided had a nice flavor as well. Hell, the most surprising thing was how good the bite was. I honestly was impressed with the degree of tenderness. Not falling apart, but easily “bitten” off the bone. I really only had two major issues: 1.) They didn’t remove the membrane. 2.) The smoke was there, but it wasn’t good. I think they need to alter the types of wood they use to smoke and it’d vastly improve the flavor.

The womens are fun to go out with.

Afterward, the womens had decided we were all going to karaoke. Grrrreeeeeaaaaatttttt… The guy with stage fright issues just LOVES this idea. Nonetheless, the prescription to being a better public speaker is always to put yourself out there, so I started with pregaming. After vodka shots we make out way to the bar (Seaside? I forgot.) where I began pounding the beer. Why? So I could sing. The women thought this was an EXCELLENT idea and I was soon in line to sing. All in all, I really had no issue getting up to sing. (I really wasn’t drunk for the first song, I’m just much better in front of audiences after years of putting myself out there. Go me, right? Sure, whatever, I kept drinking anyway because you just can’t sing Soul music sober. I think that’s a rule somewhere.)

Headed home, awaiting the boat.

Sunday wasn’t exactly my favorite day to see. I wasn’t hungover, as I never am, but we still had to pack, clean, ride a ferry, and then drive 8 hours home. Exciting. Not. Especially after traffic, detours, and arriving VERY late Sunday night. It was definitely nice to sleep in my own bed though.

Needless to say, I’m ready to head back to MV for another vacay. It was relaxing, and fun. The island was akin to going home for me. I grew up on a similar island, except we had

It'll be nice to see these sights again...

condominiums and bridges. Otherwise we have the same year-round population, tourist season, and jobs dependent on good seasons. It was a nice time and I’d highly recommend it to anyone…in season…because I don’t want anyone else where when I visit.